Badass Ass

I’ve been away. I know. I’m sorry! But I’ve been busy sense I’ve been away. So I suppose it’s alright. I hope you agree.

Short and sweet today, just something that’s been on my mind– my hind quarter, rear, butt, behind, gluteus maximus, booty, back side, ass.

I’ve always known I had one (obviously) but I’ve never really put of much focus on it. I’ve always been told I, “have a nice booty for a white girl”… In recent weeks however, my roommates and friends have commented on it– “what a great ass you have”, and “I want a butt like yours”!
This has drawn my attention to my back-side and just being a bad ass in general. LOL!

I go glut work in Pilates and of course I run, but I’m not in the gym working on my ass every day. It’s just there, a nice addition… not a focus.

What I find interesting is the attention and focus others put on it. If my behind is a motivation to get yours in shape, OK I guess that’s great! If it’s something you are staring at, I’m NOT Ok with that and believe me I’ll slug you in the face!

Yes- sometimes I feel like a badass… changing the topic and the use of ass real quick.
“WHY?” you may ask… well for starters I recently registered for 2 half marathons in the spring and started on a 12 week training plan. That’s pretty cool! And I’m slowly growing as a Pilates teacher, with 2 standing clients, the potential for a class, and a lot more knowledge then before. I have been running (duh) but not retreating to the gym all the time cause of the cold and the snow… no no, I’ve been running outside- dressed appropriately- and last week did a quick 6 miles in Central Park between jobs just cause!

If those things don’t make me feel pretty awesome and badass I don’t know what would. I am seriously looking forward to continuing on my path to these half marathons and hope to have a huge cheering section for me!! hahaha! Otherwise, I’m doing me. Not trying to be a version of me that is forced or manicured (although my nails are a wreck at the moment) or striving to be perfect for someone else. Am I lonely… sure… but am I unhappy… overall NO. That’s all for another post at a later date. And of course there will be training updates and pictures galore!

Till then- comment, share, like, follow, tweet, etc! stay warm and strong.

lovealways, christiane

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#Motivation

Happy New Year, lovely readers!

What are you up to today?  cleaning, sleeping, socializing, gym hunting, hangover nursing?  Well, whatever it is, I hope you are enjoying it.  Me, I’m relaxing in leggings and an oversized shirt eating a leisurely breakfast and writing to you, after sleeping in and recovering from my events last night… we will get to that in a minute.

Let us first talk about New Years.  A time when people party hard on 12/31 and ofter regret it the next morning.  A time when we get resolutions or intents for the next 12 months and (if we remember them for that long) try to see them through.  New Years is often about staying up late and possibly being out in the cold to watch object (a ball, a peach, a pelican) “drop” as thousands count down the last 10 seconds of the old year and welcome in the new one with confetti and cheers.   For many it’s a time to be with friends, family, and loved ones.  A kiss at midnight recognizing love and good luck is often shared between couples.  It’s a night to dress up and see fireworks another night then July 4th.

This New Years was… is… will continue to be different for me.  I didn’t dress up fancy- although my outfit all together was over $300.  I didn’t share it with anyone in particular- yet I shared 4 miles and a whole evening with 4000+ total strangers.  I didn’t hug or kiss anyone- I did cheers myself with sparkling cider along the way.  I didn’t set a “resolution” so much as I changed my focus… my personal motivation for getting up in the morning.

What did I do to ring in 2015?  I participated in the New York Road Runners 4 mile Midnight Run through Central Park… at, you guessed it, the stroke of midnight.  A massive fireworks display right in front of us kicked things off as several thousand runners took of to bring in the new year the best way we know how, in one of the most amazing cities north of the ATL  (lol).  I overcame so much in just a few hours.  I did this all alone… not with a group to follow… I took myself down and figured it out.  I did this in 30 degrees!!  25 or so with the wind chill… that’s cold guys, for me anyway.  I realized I’m overcoming my aversion to the cold (when dressed properly) and actually enjoyed it.  And I never stopped…  of course my pace varied, but I never stopped running, and this is a big one for me.  My mind gets tired well before my body and I’m often tempted to quit… but I didn’t not that night.

For me, this run will set the trend for my year.  I’m not making a resolution, as much as I’m setting my motivation.  Over the past several months it has been brought to my attention that I seldom do things because “I want to”.  It’s always been because it will please someone else, or make them happy in a long run, or look good when I go out with them, or to beat myself up for “mistakes” I have made.  I’ll let you all in on something not so pretty– all those days of fitness I did and nearly everything else for the past 5 months has been predominantly motivated by this thought, “If your Ex is that talented and good looking and amazing and YOU messed that up, you deserve to shred your muscles and push your body and beat yourself up… if for no other reason then that for a short time the physical pain is more intense then the emotional pain and for that time you don’t feel it”.

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Yes, I know that’s unhealthy and I’m tired of it.  So in this new year- I am my motivation.  This year I am going to set goals, most likely various races in NYC, do things that make me happy.

“I will run for… myself.  To be the best me in this new year”.  to quote my race bib.

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If you think that sounds selfish, it’s not.  Through a lot of thought, reflection, and growth I recognized that I have always done things to please others… that has been my motivation. But this is un-healthy and un-sustainable (as events in the past months have demonstrated).  However, if I am a truly confident and happy individual it will please others (and myself) for longer… healthier relationships.

This is going to be a new Christiane in a new year and I am pumped.  Not just running and working out… using my time, resources, and creative skills more.  I will write more.  I will make the time to grocery shop and cook again.  I will get my butt to classes.  I will socialize and explore.  I’m not saying it’s going to be easy…  but I’m not going to dwell on things I can’t fix and instead be in the present and be in it for me.

So y’all, what’s your New Years resolution… or motivation?  Share here if you would like, or just write it someplace for yourself and see what the year brings.

lovealways, christiane

I’d Read Your Blog If…

You went to France!!

That’s what my boss said to me a few weeks ago in regards to reading blogs in general.
And of course it got me thinking- What do people read about? What is found interesting or intriguing? Of my personal posts, I’ve discovered that posts regarding my relationship struggles or specific New York City experiences get the most attention. Of course these are posts that I sometimes feel are beating a subject into the ground or just fussing… whereas posts about my dance or running go by seemingly unnoticed, and of course those I thought would be interesting and unique.

Which led me to wonder what kind of blogs, if any, people spend time reading?! I’ll be honest, I seldom read a blog consistently. That’s not to say I haven’t… just not often. Usually the blogs I read are those of my friends when they are traveling or embarking on some new adventure that I want to keep tabs on. I have been better at reading posts from the various blogs I’m following… but really should do more it I want to be an active member of the blogging community.

Which leads me to the point of this post– what do you all (my followers and readers) enjoy hearing about? What do you enjoy reading?

When I set out on this blog extravaganza it was because I was setting out on my New York adventure and I wanted to stay in touch with everyone. Of course that fell off the grid but I’m pretty serious about keeping this up now, so tell me what you might like to hear about!!

And please continue to share, follow, comment, like, or just read!

lovealways, christiane

Time. All it takes is time.

That’s a line from a song that has been floating in and out of my thoughts for weeks now, but I can’t place it or find it anywhere!  I can hear the melody and everything, but can’t recall any other lyrics, much less where it’s from.
Don’t you hate it when that happens?!  

Anyway, regardless– the concept, that anything takes time– is what truly resonates with me.
Time to grow
Time to heal
Time to learn
Time to practice
Time to adventure
Time to gain perspective
Time to understand
Time.

Time is something I’ve struggled with in various ways over the years.
Wishing I had more time
Remembering back to a different time
Not knowing what to do with my time
Having to much to do and not enough time
Wanting to go back in time

The list could go on.

But it’s not ok to live like that, I’ve discovered. Always living in a different time. Because then you are never living in the NOW, you will miss all the experiences and people that are coming and going around you because you are to busy stuck in a past time.
I’m not saying this is always easy, but when you can it opens you up to a lot of fun things.

This isn’t intended to be a long story based post, just a short muse on a topic… and to out these song lyrics out there into the universe, that maybe someone will recognize them and help me fill in what I’m missing, or just what the song it!

Anybody  know??  Or have personal reflections on the concept of time?  How it’s affected you?

Comment, share, like, tweet, reblog, etc!

Time is always been something I’ve struggled and played with- so much so that it, and a book titled, “Einstein’s Dream”, sparked a dance piece that I did the summer before my 1st year of college.  I don’t share this one much, and no comments on my movement technique at the time, but I think we all wish we could freeze some moments.  (And yes, back to the days of being super blond!)

 

I hope you all enjoy,

 

lovealways,  christiane

 

“it is’t yes, it’s not quite no”

This City is No Fairy Tale

New York City is a place that thousands flock to throughout the year.  It is a melting pot city, the home of all things Broadway, hosts one of the largest most prestigious marathons in the country, has history and memories on every street, and a beautifully lit iconic skyline at night.  But it’s still a city.  And no growing functioning city is beautiful, perfect, and some dream come true… Not once you get up close and personal with it- like in bed together up close and personal- that’s for sure.

Let’s preface this post with a big old heartfelt “I’m sorry”!  Cause I am sorry if what I’m writing bursts anyone’s bubble, but it will come out sooner or later.  I’m not sayin’ you should visit if it’s something you want to do… or that you shouldn’t move here if it’s the place you are supposed to be.  All I’m saying here, is don’t come with pre-conceived fairy tale ideas of the city, cause you will most likely be disappointed.

What exactly am I talking about?  A lot of the day to day things.  The little things that only exist in this way in New York– that give this city a uniqueness, but that also get down right annoying at times.

Some examples?  Sure why not…

The homeless taking up, stinking up, and yelling through the train cars.

Doggy doo along the sidewalks waiting for your unsuspecting shoe.

A great and diverse array of smells around every corner.  Some you with you could enjoy always or get a bite of whatever it is that has gotten your attention, others that you wish to NEVER smell again.

Trash… basically everywhere.  Along the sidewalks, often escaped from it’s bag.  Blowing in the wind.

Train delays.  You did everything right- got up on time, had everything ready, left your apartment with time to spare walking to the station, got on the train– so far so good, right?!  You are moving right along from station to station until you feel the breaks bring the train to a screeching halt and your conductor come over saying there is “train traffic ahead of you”.  And would you like to know why there is train traffic ahead?  Most likely cause some dumb-ass won’t “stand clear of the closing doors” so they have to ding ding-ding ding several times before they finally close.  And if someone has pulled the emergency break, or the track signals are malfunctioning, or goodness forbid someone has decided to jump on the tracks.  Well, you can kiss being to work on time goodbye.  (this is one I deal with on an almost daily basis… so it hits close to home).

Waiting in ridiculously long lines for just about everything you do- from going to a show (ok, there should be a legit line here), to grocery shopping… where most times I stand in a line longer then it took me to get the items I’m trying to buy!

Paying way to much for everything… like just the cost of living, and I’m not talking fun expenses.

You never really see this side of the city when you are getting VIP transportation in your tour bus, seeing everything from atop the Empire State Building, and only hitting up the manicured parts of town when you are on your feet on the street.  Getting into the city, down and dirty with it… way uptown, on side streets, during all hours of the day and night.  Thats when the real life side shows itself.

Of course, if I didn’t love some of that… or find that the beauty and opportunities far outweigh the frustrations  I wouldn’t still be here.  Maybe it’s not that bad.

Share, comment, like, follow, visit, etc!

lovealways,  christiane

Stand Clear of the Closing Doors: NYC Subway Culture

Happy Sunday everyone!  My New York people, are you out enjoying the weather? To quote the New York Times,   “unseasonably warm”– but I’m totally OK with it!

If you’ve even lived in or been to New York City and traveled by subway, I’m sure you will be able to relate to this post. Underground is a whole different culture, playing by it’s own set of rules, with it’s own set of problems and frustrations.

As someone who lives here and travels by train several times a day, I’ve seen a lot of strange and annoying things… and I’ve smelled even stranger. I thought a piece on “train culture” would be interesting and would give me a chance to share some of my top favorite train experiences.

Mostly, it’s all about the people. Sure, sometimes the MTA system screws you over and never tells you your train will be out of service or running local when it should be express. Or you get stuck in a tunnel without cell service- so you can’t tell your boss you are gonna be late for that important meeting… but some of that wouldn’t be so bad if you were just able to sit in piece and deal with it alone. Instead, you are surrounded by people, tons of strangers… all trying to get to someplace.

The weather, the time of day, the temperature outside and inside the car, all of these affect the commute and the people on the train. I’ve seen full out fights start because people won’t move into the center of a car and someone else can’t get in, so they push and shove and piss someone off.

It’s not always bad, thank goodness. When men stand and offer their seat to women, when someone holds the door cause they see you running to the train, those that you share a moment with when there is a crazy homeless person on a screaming rant and the train has stalled out in the tunnels. Remember that post a few weeks ago, “OH the 1 Train”? While I seriously disliked having to stand and have that guy hit on me the whole commute, the girl I ended up chatting with later and the other passengers who shared in a laugh at my facial expression was very fun.

Usually though, as soon as you descend down those stairs underground, the rules all change. We fight for seats, we push and shove to get into a crowded car, and we all deal with annoying things. Here are some of my favorite subway irritating moments… at least to date. Pictures and “definitions” are all mine… as are the titles themselves for that matter.

The Poll Hog:

Definition: Leaning a large portion of one’s body on the center polls that are meant to over a place for multiple people to hold onto when standing on a moving train and offer stability so one does not fall and the train lurches down the tunnels.

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I only understand this one when the train is nearly empty or you are the only one standing. But when you are one of many on a crowded train—DON’T LEAN!! Suddenly there is so many fewer options for everyone else to find a place to hold onto. I’ve been one of 10 people holding onto one poll before, but in the blink of an eye, one person can hog a whole spot and the rest of us might just be outta luck. I don’t know what makes some people feel so entitled as to do this!

The Leg Spreader/ The seat Hog

Definition: Taking up more then one seat per-person. For men, most often accomplished by sitting with legs spread. For women, most often accomplished by allowing ones purse to have a seat of it’s own.

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I’m sorry if it’s uncomfortable, or you really don’t fit in the seat, or you don’t want to keep your personal belongings in your personal space… but you don’t need 2 seats on the train. What? You don’t want someone sitting next to you… or you think you are better then everyone else and you need more space? Oh GET OVER YOURSELF!! It’s rude, it’s also unslightly. And then glare when someone brave enough comes over and squeezes in. In a city where everyone thinks they are entitled either because of who they are wearing, what they do, what they Don’t do, how old they are, and on and on… it’s almost expected, but totally annoying. And I know, it the spots were reverse and I were taking up 2 seats… well, it wouldn’t last long!

The Chicken Wing

Definition: Someone who holds onto the bars and totally forgets where their elbow is… or that they have one at all? Or that it MAY be in someone else’s face! So it reminds me of something like a chicken wing, just flappin’ around wherever.

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I experienced this one for the first time last week. It’s early on a Tuesday morning on a packed train, and I’m sitting in my seat (totally minding my own business) maybe falling asleep every few minutes… when I open my eyes and just a meer 4 inches away from my noise is some mans hairy elbow! Like it’s RIGHT THERE! And shift of my head, his body, or the train will send it smack right in my face! What got me was that the whole trip, he never seemed to notice how close his arm was to me or that I couldn’t move. This could have been remedied if he chose to pull his arm closer to himself, hold the bar a little higher, or angle himself another direction. As it was, I get this great picture and stayed awake the rest of the trip!

At Crotch Level

Definition: I think the name really says it all.

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These are the people who stand right in front of your seat (if you are sitting) and don’t bother to angle their bodies or hold on the to bar with one hand and turn sideways… NO, they stand square in front of you and we… if you are sitting your eyes usually fall right at crotch level. Then of course, as the train rocks and rolls down the tracks, they may swing closer or further from your face. Mostly it’s just awkward and uncomfortable. I understand, you have to stand, I’ve been there. It’s totally cool (but I’m glad to be sitting) just, like, I don’t want to be looking there for the next hour of my commute!

The Screamers… and all those Loud Talkers

Definition: People who treat the train car like their own personal living room. They talk, fight, laugh (cackle), scream, cry… or don’t stop their bratty children from screaming and crying… and don’t for one moment seem to care if it’s bothering every single other person stuck on the train with them.

I have had to look away or close my eyes and restrain myself from glaring at so many people, or worse- from saying anything. Especially mothers with screaming children who act like it’s totally fine that their child is crying at the top of it’s lungs and make no effort to silence them. This is about as bad as the adults who carry on for the whole world to hear. Don’t you care about your privacy at all? I mean, even if you don’t… just shut up! Or use your indoor voices! It’s not that hard and it makes the whole time on the train so much better for everyone.

These are some of my favorites… that are funny, worthy of a definition, and that I can get a pretty good picture of. The list of annoying, frustrating, and unique things on the trains also include, but is not limited too: the incredibly smelly, the drunk, the good the bad and the ugly musicians, the dancers (yes, like the kids who blast music and take up the whole isle to dance and usually hit someone in the face), the starers, and the napping (those lovely people who fall asleep and tip onto their neighboring passenger).

There is always something interesting

What have you encountered on a NYC train?  Anything fun that you’d like to share, please comment!  As always- follow, share, like, comment, etc!  and Follow me on Instagram and Twitter @NYChristiane

love always,  Christiane

Sharing is Scary Part 2: “Solo” in Progress

Happy Friday fabulous readers!

As promised, I’m continuing to work on and share dance performance and choreography. In this post I’m featuring the first rehearsal footage of a brand new piece I’m working on. This solo, untitled to date, is being performed by yours truly at the moment. I have always feared sharing a piece when is it still very much in progress, because things will change, be added or taken away, and people don’t always take well to seeing mistakes. However, I want to keep working on this piece and I feel like I will be more motivated if I have an audience to share it with. This is also helping me overcome my reservations and hesitations of sharing my original work.  (the link is at the bottom of the post… in hopes that you will read the post then watch the piece!)

 

With this piece being in progress, I thought I would talk a little about the many aspects and pieces that come together to begin work on a piece of choreography, at least as it applies to me. Each dancer and choreographer has their own process and method of working, so do not define the “choreographers way” as what I’m about to talk about… this is just my way.

 

MUSIC

Music is an important, but not totally crucial aspect for dance performance. Many pieces are done with and without music, sometimes the dancers know the track before getting onstage, other times it may be a game of chance. Some choreographers prefer not to use music with lyrics, not wanting the movement or the audience’s perception of the movement to be affected by the preexisting tone of the music.

Personally, I like to choreograph with my music already chosen. I don’t mind pieces with lyrics, but I’ll usually look for one that will compliment the style, movement and “story” of my dance. Often, when I hear a piece of music, I can already start to see the movement come to life in my head… this is how I know it’s something I want to work with. However, it’s not always the first piece of music that ends up fitting for a piece of dance. For this solo, I had chosen a very different piece of music, one that was very personal to me, and would fir well with the track for “Shaded Blue”… but at this time I was not motivated as I should be, to choreograph to it.   The piece I ended up choosing, “Elements” by Lindsay Stirling (check out her site and music!), found me. It came on a co-workers Pandora Radio station on day and I was hooked.  I could feel the creative juices starting to flow and I wanted to start creating right there in the middle of work… I know this was a piece I had to work with.

 

MOVEMENT

I like to create and set movement that is comfortable in my body. If I’m working on a piece for myself, or without a particular performer in mind, I will create using movement that highlight my strengths and show my body the way I want. On the other hand, if I’m setting movement on a particular dancer(s) or working with someone specific in mind, I will choreograph to highlight their strengths, while staying true to my form and style. For example, the opening solo to “Shaded Blue” which was specifically designed for Emily! I’m not at all adverse to making choreographic adjustments in the future, to make any piece a better fit for the dancer.

I have a tendency to pull from the variety of styles 

 

STRUCTURE, FORM, FUTURE

Some choreographers have a piece already mostly set, either in theirs heads or on paper, then the rehearsal process is just getting that out onto actual dancers. Others prefer to create as they go… maybe having definite points or movements that will happen as a given time, but the rest come together like a puzzle as they work. I am a little of both I think, depending on the piece. “Shaded Blue” was 90% written out on paper before I ever set foot in the studio with it and dancers. While changes and adjustments were made throughout the process, most of it is as I originally set. This new solo, on the other hand, is very much coming together each time I get in the studio to work.  While I have some ideas for the overall look and direction of the piece, I don’t always know what’s coming next… so much of my rehearsal time, right now, is playing and seeing what comes out.  The rehearsal process will be for another post… Yay, something to look forward too!!

In my head, this piece is a sister piece to “Shaded Blue” (premiered in the last Sharing is Scary post). watch it again! While “Shaded Blue” was more so movement for movement’s sake, this solo is a little more aggressive and the character is troubled. There is more tension on the stage and she is always looking off to something else… something just off stage… something she can’t have. The movement is more angular and sharp and I actually love the silhouette look I got in the studio! The music adds to the driving element, while being light and easy to listen to… and believe me, I listen to it a LOT!  the first week of working on this piece, I listened to the track every day on my 45 minute train commute, just to get it in my body and lear the music, phrasing, and character.  

When this piece will be finished… performed… with or without “Shaded Blue” is beyond me.  Right now I’m working on it so I can keep creating and to have something special to share with you all!  I would LOVE to reset Blue with this piece when it’s done… but I also don’t want to rush myself so I truly create something I’m proud of and enjoy.  (“Shaded Blue” is by far my favorite piece of Modern/Contemporary dance I’ve done… so this new one has a big sister to live up to)!!

And on that note… I should fork over the link to the new piece and let y’all see it for yourselves!  Here it is “Solo” 2014.  Please feel free to share, like, comment, etc!!  I love your feedback and support!  

 

Love always,  Christiane