We Say “Goodbye” to out Girls

“We all have the opportunity to leave our footprint in the sand”

Often we say goodbye and really mean, I’ll see you later. But there is always the looming goodbye that you know is really the last one. I don’t mean to sound harsh or negative or depressing or mean… It’s the circle of life and I’ve experienced my share of it… So I speak from my experience.
The physical being may be gone but the memory lives on in photos and those of us left behind. Sometimes the later in I’ll see you later, may be a long way off but memories are forever. I’m always a fan of “remember the good times”, the times before you fought, got sick, moved on, left. It’s easier said then done though, I know. So here’s to a post about memories and goodbyes.
I just found out my mom had to put her dog to sleep. Scamp, or little dog as I always called her, had lost most of her senses and her organs were failing internally. While we all called her our puppy dog, she was well over 10 years old. She had a great life full of long walks, popcorn, groomers, and food. But that doss not make it any less hard to say that last goodbye.20140915-145618-53778687.jpg

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About 5 years ago, we put our other dog, Kate or big dog, down. She to was about 13 and her body was starting to fail her. Even though she always wager her tail when she saw the treats come out or the harness go on, I the end she could hardly stand. It was better for her and for us, to end the pain and remember the good times. Because those are what matters…. While both good and bad build us up, break us down, and make us individuals.

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And senses I’m already crying, I will make this a full “in memory” post and white about my dad. We are just 1 month shy of the 3 year date of his passing from an aggressive form of kidney cancer… If you didn’t know that happened, well, now you do. In a whirlwind of a 10 month downhill spirally world changed and I was saying a goodbye that would never be I’ll see you again. What can you do? The body fails but the spirit and Emory lives on… If we dwell on that goodbye we never move forward. It becomes a ball and chain, weighing us down and holding us back. However, if we remember their spirit and channel that in our daily lives, we grow and move onward… Living with their memory and guidance.

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We are shadows.

Alright, that’s enough emotions for me today… But it saves me from writing a blabbering unreadable post on October 19th.
The take away, love the moment and live it to the fullest. Love those around you and love yourself… even when it seems impossible. I like to believe that goodbye doesn’t mean goodbye, just I’ll see you later… And depending on what you believe, maybe that’s true… But it’s never any easier.

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Reflect, share, comment, like, follow, enjoy.

Love always, Christiane

Infatuated: Blue Skies, Wide Open Spaces, and Me

I really think this title says it all. So let this be a photo entry accompanied by some words, instead of the other way around.

I’m not sure when my love and interest in bright blue skies first came about, but I know I first noticed this infatuation on top of Elk Mt. in Oklahoma.IMG_0030.PNG
You could see for miles in all directions. It was breathtakingly beautiful, the water reflecting the intense blue of the sky, and that sky meeting the land far off in the distance. Up there was the first time I realized I would have been very happy to sit for hours just bring under that sky, looking at it’s beauty and power… Feeling small and humbled, but also beautiful.

For years I took for granted the majesty and beauty of Southern Illinois, where I used to spend my summers and now where I run to in an attempt to escape New York City and regain… Or maintain… Some of my sanity. There, un-impeded by sky scrapers and city lights, you can see sky, trees, water.

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I have come to realize that I could happily be under and look at a blue sky, really anywhere, and by so happy. Now I don’t just mean any blue, I mean that piercing, intense, clear, powerful blue sky that says “yes, look up from your phones, get up form your office chairs, and come outside. Look up at me and bask there, totally unchained from all other daily problems. Just be”.

I’m not saying you can’t see a phenomenal sky in New York City, because you can in fact.

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You just have to be in the right place, but even then there is usually a building standing in the open blue. And all to often, you may only get a small glimpse as you move through the dark underground of the city.

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I believe there is something very deeply rooted in us, that draws us to nature in some form. For me, the blue sky… Being able to watch it go on and on. Yes it can make me feel small and vulnerable, but it also gives me a view of endless possibilities with plenty of space and time to try them all. When I’m distracted by a perfect, uninterrupted blue sky, I never feel lonely or lost. I’m reminded there’s so much more out there.

Ever had a dream where you fly? Well, I can tell you- it’s the best way to see the sky!!

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For more fun pictures, check out my Instagram @nychristiane ❤️. And follow, share, like, comment! I always love to get feedback and support.

Love always, Christiane

Remember to check out my original choreography “Shaded Blue” posted in Sharing is Scary Part 1

Sharing is Scary: Part 1 “Shaded Blue”

As some of you probably know and others may not, I’m a dancer.  I’ve been dancing sense age 4 and have built up quite an impressive resume over the years.  I love performing, being on stage, directing, choreographing, etc.  However, I’ve always had a hard time sharing my work while it’s in progress… or really sharing my work any other way but live.  I’ve decided that is something I want to work on- to overcome.  While I think dance, and most live performing arts are better live I know there is a huge outlet for it via video, online, etc.  I’ve decided, that to overcome this fear and to get my work seen by a few more eyes, I will work on releasing various performances, pieces, and clips of work here on the blog!

 I’m starting with a piece I did a few years ago that is truly one of my favorites and one that I would love to put on the stage again.  “Shaded Blue” was choreographed in 2012 at Agnes Scott College in Decatur, GA as an assignment for my Choreo. 2 class.  The semester before in Choreo. 1, I set a piece about my father and our struggle with his cancer and the aftermath of losing him.  That work, “Holding On/ Chasing Dreams” was an emotionally charged piece that above anything else was a way for me to express what I had been through.  After working on a piece so deep and personal, I wanted to create a piece that was just movement for the heck of it!  Phrases that felt really good in the dancers bodies and didn’t tell a deeper story.  Something that moved and was happy and beautiful, creative and flowing.  I actually wrote out all the choreography on an airplane.  I could just see the piece in my head, I didn’t need to feel it in my body, I already knew what was coming next.  This quartet is set to an original piece of music by Kyle Lacy, titled “Iceberg Shade of Blue”.  In a way, we collaborated on creating the perfect track for the final performance, editing sound levels, length, vocals, etc. It was exciting to create a new dance to a new piece of music, I was able to pull inspiration from the raw music and share the work of another artist.  The performers are all friends and fellow dance majors from Agnes.  Setting this work on them was fun and in many ways, easy, because we could all communicate and just play in the early stages of choreography to create some movement that was personal and individualized for each dancer.

And now I have to share!!   Click here, here, or HERE to see the Promo short for “Shaded Blue”.  This is a 1 minute clip that should spark your interest and make you want to see the whole dance…  Then you can click This, that, or the other for the full length video!!!   I hope you enjoy 🙂   (yes- everything in orange is a hyperlilnk to my youtube channel and the indicated performance video.  You have plenty of options on where to click…. and hopefully you will watch more then once!)

I was constantly inspired and loved working on this piece of choreography.  But I know it does not stand alone.  I have begun work on a new solo which is a sister piece to “Shaded Blue” and may be one of three in total!  Exciting things are happening and I plan to keep sharing, so keep an eye out for more “Sharing is Scary” entries that will contain snippets of new work and progress as well as (hopefully) thoughts and insight on my process.  

Please do continue to read, share, follow, like, and comment!

love always,  Christiane

And if you read this far, you get a bonus- here is a special release 15 second clip of the new solo http://instagram.com/p/sEIFF2m4EL/

Enjoy and know there is more to come!

Christiane, what the hell

are you doing?

that’s what I’m asking myself at the very moment… at 12:21AM on a rainy thursday night… sitting on my bed… exhausted from working 12 days straight at both jobs… but really wanting to write a post before bed– get back into this.

So here I am, with my candles and fan and throw pillows and Winton Marsalis Pandora radio.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve discovered that the universe really does work in mysterious ways. It has a way of putting a thought in your head and promptly making that thought come true. If you are aware enough, of yourself and surroundings, you see this and can truly enjoy the little special things that are thrown your way.

This has been on my mind because I’ve had 2 such events in the past month or so. 1. I was watching one of my favorite movies “The Devil Wear Prada” with the directors commentary on and all they could talk about were sections of the BOOK that they had to leave out of the MOVIE but that they really liked. So of course- it made me want to read the book. Two days later I’m at Goodwill on 181st and what do I find on the bookshelf but a hard back copy of “Devil Wears Prada” in great condition and half off! I couldn’t believe that I had just wised I had the book… and now I do! (it’s very good BTW. A different post coming soon about all my summer reading).
2. I work a job where I interact and get to know hundreds of people a week. But some people, some of the evening studio regulars, I know well… and of course when I haven’t seen someone in a while I start to wonder where they are. Cut to the actual story- I was backing up my iPad last night and deleting extraneous photos when I came across one of a member and I with our matching Swatch Watches (long story) but I realized I hadn’t seen her in months. I’m at work tonight, less then 24 hours after seeing that photo and thinking about her, and who walks in but Heather! I couldn’t believe it! We were able to chat after class and it was so great.

These small happenings and others make me wonder… and here I go getting all hypothetical and wishy, but that happens when I’m writing at 12:3am… Maybe the universe is watching out for me on a grander level. Maybe if I put out there enough positive thoughts and loving wishes that it will hold on to them and deliver them where they should go?
Do we believe this stuff? I didn’t always, but I’ve come to more and more. Sometimes things work out and happen in a way that’s more then chance Maybe all is not lost… just different.

And before I get anymore ambiguous or philosophical, I’m gonna change tracks fast.

I spent the better part of an hour of work tonight trying to figure out if there is a way to change the title of a BLOG on WordPress. Sense I’m no longer at MoMA and I’m living in (not traveling to) NYC, I wanted to make the initial title something more relevant.
I thought about starting another one and hoping all of you, my lovely followers and readers, would transition over… but that felt a bit like giving up on this one. So I’m not, BUT if anyone out there has any advice for on the topic, please share!

I don’t know how Blogs get tons and tons of followers and comments and shares. Of course, this blog is mostly personal, but I’d love to expand my audience and work more on writing a variety of posts on different topics, some more personal then others.

I’d call that a goal… and look! There’s 2 posts in 2 days! I said I’m back and I meant it.

Remember to follow, comment, like, and share. I’m on Instagram @cadance13
I’d love you y’all to check it out!

Till I write again- sweet dreams (and if you’re in NYC- be dry!)
<3always Christiane