Badass Ass

I’ve been away. I know. I’m sorry! But I’ve been busy sense I’ve been away. So I suppose it’s alright. I hope you agree.

Short and sweet today, just something that’s been on my mind– my hind quarter, rear, butt, behind, gluteus maximus, booty, back side, ass.

I’ve always known I had one (obviously) but I’ve never really put of much focus on it. I’ve always been told I, “have a nice booty for a white girl”… In recent weeks however, my roommates and friends have commented on it– “what a great ass you have”, and “I want a butt like yours”!
This has drawn my attention to my back-side and just being a bad ass in general. LOL!

I go glut work in Pilates and of course I run, but I’m not in the gym working on my ass every day. It’s just there, a nice addition… not a focus.

What I find interesting is the attention and focus others put on it. If my behind is a motivation to get yours in shape, OK I guess that’s great! If it’s something you are staring at, I’m NOT Ok with that and believe me I’ll slug you in the face!

Yes- sometimes I feel like a badass… changing the topic and the use of ass real quick.
“WHY?” you may ask… well for starters I recently registered for 2 half marathons in the spring and started on a 12 week training plan. That’s pretty cool! And I’m slowly growing as a Pilates teacher, with 2 standing clients, the potential for a class, and a lot more knowledge then before. I have been running (duh) but not retreating to the gym all the time cause of the cold and the snow… no no, I’ve been running outside- dressed appropriately- and last week did a quick 6 miles in Central Park between jobs just cause!

If those things don’t make me feel pretty awesome and badass I don’t know what would. I am seriously looking forward to continuing on my path to these half marathons and hope to have a huge cheering section for me!! hahaha! Otherwise, I’m doing me. Not trying to be a version of me that is forced or manicured (although my nails are a wreck at the moment) or striving to be perfect for someone else. Am I lonely… sure… but am I unhappy… overall NO. That’s all for another post at a later date. And of course there will be training updates and pictures galore!

Till then- comment, share, like, follow, tweet, etc! stay warm and strong.

lovealways, christiane

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On all the Days of Fitness I’ve missed!

That would be the 8th-18th Days.

Wow… I now it’s been a while… which wasn’t supposed to happen, sense i was planning on writing every day for my 25 Days of Fitness.

Well, I want y’all to know that I HAVE been doing something every day!!  I’ve been posting on Instagram (@nychristiane) which is a lot easier and faster (sometimes) then working on a whole post. BUT I want to post everything on here and catch you up on my adventure!!

I’ll just caption each photo with what I did that day.  By the 25th… or 26th… I’ll do a nice reflection post.

So here we go… a photo array of the past 11 days and my fitness endeavors!

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On the 7th Day of Fitness:  I was up with the sun, headed to the Gym.  Today was a short run with high incline.  Then I came home and taught my roommate a Pilates Mat 1 class focused on arms and core!  Challenge your body and share your knowledge!

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On the 8th Day of Fitness:  I wanted to see if I could sprint out a 10 minute mile… and well, I can!!  Varying your running in distance, incline, speed, etc. can be a great way to keep your body on its toes!  Also did a fantastic upper body workout with weights!  Not a bad Monday.

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On the 9th Day of Fitness:  self led Pilates class with a focus on arms!!  I like to use easy alb weights.  Keep in mind, using light weights will build strong lean muscles (not lots of bull) so- ladies especially- don’t be afraid to pick up the weights for your arms reps!!  A strong supportive upper body can be a powerful, beautiful thing!

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On the 10th Day of Fitness:  Oh the weather outside was frightful (it was snowing) but the treadmill is so delightful!  Core work and 3 mile run today!  Feeling good and staying warm as winter sets in.  Remember it’s important to layer and stay hydrated!!

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On the 11th Day of Fitness: I had to listen to my body, which was saying “If you even thing about putting on those shoes, I”m gonna fall right off that treadmill”.  Instead, I reviewed my Pilates certification material and read Women’s Running Magazine with my snuggle flurries and some vitamin C (and Christmas music!).  It can be hard, but it’s always important to listen to your body and take it easy when needed.  Good food and sleep will only help your body on it’s path to health and fitness.

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On the 12th Day of Fitness:  I gave myself an intense Pilates class and included props.  Difficult 1 footed bridge shows here, lift and lower the free leg makes this a fun glut workout.  Then gave my feet some love and attention with Tune-Up Therapy balls!

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On the 13th Day of Fitness:  Core, arms, leg, and glut work.  Then a really kick ass run!  The process clearly isn’t pretty, but I”m loving the results.  I nearly gave up today at the 3 mile mark, but I kept going- one foot in front of the other- and the last mile was actually the easiest!  It’s a mind over matter case and my body was up for the push. Feeling super good!!

Don’t ask me where the picture for the 14th Day of Fitness is… I can’t get it to upload at the moment!  which is frustrating cause it’s pretty.  But on that day I got to take Pilates class before work.  Class had a serious focus on lower abs and triceps.  Then took some time to roll out my legs from that run last night!  Challenge yourself, but know when your body needs rest.

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On the 15th Day of Fitness:  Today was a guilt free rest day.  My body has been feeling and performing very well but I know that if I push it to hard without enough rest and rebuilding time between workouts, I won’t always feel as good.  I like to be active, so taking a day off from the gym or the mat is hard.  I did though do some body conscious shopping– can’t wait to foam roll after my next run and to unveil my new gear from Jack Rabbit Running!!

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On the 16th Day of Fitness:  Stretch, core, arms, and a chill run!  Feeling really good today.  Sometimes some quiet time at the gym can make even the longest days a lot better.  Can’t wait to go home and roll out a little on my new roller!

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On the 18th Day of Fitness:  I.. Ummm…. Didn’t make it to the gym or to a class or anything.  I did what healthy, walk around the city a lot, and carry bags of holiday gifts all over.  While I had my gym bag packed, in the end I decided sleep was more important this evening.  Not disappointed or upset with myself, just more motivated for tomorrow.

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And that brings us to TODAY!!!  On the 18th Day of Fitness:  Wanted some cardio without the impact, so I hit the bike today!  6 miles in 30 minutes plus full core, back, and leg workout… oh and threw some arms in there too!  Feeling good today and looking forward to tomorrow!

It’s been a really awesome few days!  It’s also been brought to my attention that I’m motivating others!!!!  I think that’s totally amazing and makes me even more motivated on days I don’t want to get out of bed.

As usual, please comment, share, like, follow, etc!

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I have something special planned.  😉

lovealways, Christiane

Delete. Dye. Decision.

Never in my wildest, well maybe not my wildest, but never did I think I’d be pampering myself at a hair salon on 5th Ave. or that I’d have 2 self designed tattoos on my body, or that I could have been removed from someone’s life (and removed them from mine) like an outdated document, or that I’d find myself surviving alone and actually being ok… being more then ok at times.

This post has been turning over and over in my head for about a month, but I wasn’t at a place where I could put the thoughts into words for it’s content. I believe, more or less, that I am at the place now… or at least closer to it.

DELETE

A little while back, I was having a pretty rough patch, on a personal level.  It felt like everywhere I went something rememinded me of a different time, a different place, and all that has changed over the past few months.  I was sad and angry and frustrated and couldn’t really put my finger on “why”… which made me more upset about it all.  I admit I’m not good at letting things go and moving on… especially if it’s not my decision to do so.
And that, I realized was part of what was making me upset:  How easily some people can remove another from their lives entirely.  Seemingly as easy as hitting the “Delete” key on your computer, dragging an icon to the “trash bin”, clicking “un-friend”, “unfollow”, and “remove”.

Of course this opened my eyes (and I hope you all noticed) to the fact that each of those descriptions refers to the way of removing unwated files or accounts from your computer or social media arenas. But I am not a digital file to be discarded or “replaced” by the newest changes. When I’m treated like that, I feel pretty awful and a huge part of my wants to fight back. Nor am I a computer or something that has no real memory… “I wish that I could wake up with amnesia” is a very true statement. Cause that may be the only was I can DELETE events of my past from my present life.

This whole thought process also led me to realize how much our lives are entwined with our social media outlets. The fact that being “unfriended” from someones Facebook account, at one point threw me into a crying fit, as though that were really really the worst the worst thing that had happened to me, was kind of ridiculous. Half the people I’m “friends” with on Facebook or “Follow” on Instagram I don’t even know! now that’s pretty ridiculous. But in my opinion, not as ridiculous as thinking that my removing all images, appearances, and reminders of someone will ever remove them from your memory or a part of your life.

DYE

No, not die… like “drop dead”, but dye as in a colored dye, an ink, dying something. (This is particularly relevant to me today).
As you all should know, I have 2 tattoos. One on my right ankle, that’s 4 years old this month. And one on my left forearm that’s 5 month old today, to be exact. Each time I get a tattoo, I have gotten a different reaction. When I got my first tat, some people got flat out mad, others got concerned that I was becoming some strange tattooed rebel. Getting my second tat, because of the timing I think, make people saw it as a “F**k (insert my ex’s name here)” tattoo. Which was certainly not the case… or was it?

Starting a few months ago, I began dying my hair… and I’m not talking a few highlights to embellish my blond… I’m talking full on color change. I went RED. And I love it! It gives me a whole different look and almost a different personality at times.

This seems to be my way of dealing… maybe I don’t go through like a tornado and remove every track of you, but I’ll change myself. Becoming another side of me that hasn’t come to the surface in a long time, if ever. I’m tempted to say I’m obsessed with both. For someone who never thought they’d get a tattoo, and after my first had no desire for another, I have ideas for several more. Will I get them? Maybe. Anytime soon? Probably not… but I’ll think about it as I’m laying in bed or folding towels at work. As for the hair- that’s sticking around for a while. This is the second time I’ve done it in this color pallet. Sure, it’s expensive and then I have to keep it nice, but if I’m not with anyone, who am I going to pamper if not myself?

DECISION

This was not the word I originally had in my list. If came about tonight, while I was writing and I think it’s better then “Dilemma” that I had at first.
I feel like I’m faced with a decision to make, not so much facing a dilemma.

A few weeks ago I was a mess. I was exhausted all the time. I was sour and easily irritated. I didn’t mean to be and I was not able to pin point one thing that had triggered these feelings. And it was getting bad- things at work were starting to slip, I wasn’t eating right, and relationships were being pushed. I knew I didn’t want to feel as I did, but I felt like because I didn’t know why, I really couldn’t do anything about it. Just give it some time and hope thing changed, for the better.
It wasn’t until earlier this week that it was brought to my attention that I seemed happier, more energetic, and looked a lot better. This hit me, and I realized I wasn’t forcing anything. I actually felt… feel… good! I feel happy and am enjoying what I’m doing. I’m taking time for myself and not feeling guilty about it. I’m enjoying the time I have with friends and co-workers instead of dwelling to much on the past and the people I miss. Sure, maybe I still beat myself up a little for hurting someone and not being able to change my ways soon enough. But I hope I’m making decisions that will make me happy and in that, show that I’m not a horrible person.

Is it a decision to be happy? Yes. I believe it is, same as it’s a decision to change ones hair color, or have our skin injected with ink, or to go through months of photographs removing only certain ones. Maybe not always a conscious decisions like some of the other examples, but a decision none the less. As I’ve come to find, the decisions that lead to making one person happy will not always make others feel the same way. We do so many things as a way of self preservation.

What do I want you to “get” fro this post, I honestly don’t even know. I wrote it as a place to put these thoughts that have come together in my mind. Perhaps, if you’ve been in a similar situation, you can relate. Let me know.

Like, share, comment, the usual.

lovealways, Christiane

Beauty in Simplicity- Sunset

Seldom do I write a post on a whim. Is just the sort of blogger I’ve become. Usually because a post requires photo and video editing, or content collection and editing, but most often simply because I don’t have time to sit, write, and publish a decent post all in one go!

This evening however, I’m out on a walk and extremely compelled to sit with the sunset and write a post. (So please excise typos and such- I’m writing from my phone).

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That’s what’s in front of my right now. And I realize I feel completely at ease. With the wind the sun the water and me, I feel content. I feel small and humbled but I feel beautiful and thankful to be right here, right now… Living in the moment.

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Living in New York I’ve discovered how much I, we as a city, rush around and seldom remember to stop and smell the metaphorical roses. To take a moment and realize where we are and what we have. We go non-stop and even in the thing we do to “relax” ourselves (like yoga for example) we rush to class, with it would go faster, and never stop thinking about what we have to do next.
Walking through the park to my current landing spot, I actually heard geese honking overhead. If your in NYC you know nature sounds are often few and far between, if we are ever even outside long enough to listen. But I did- heard them before I saw them- changing their “V” formation as they flew South for winter. Into the sunset.

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All to sudden I feel like it’s dark, the sun has set and the day is over. We always ask for just a little longer, but maybe what we have is just enough. Take every moment as it comes and for what it is. Else you just might miss one that’s beautiful and amazing.

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Now, as the sun says goodnight, so do I. Till another day and another post (sooner than later) brings us together again!

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Love always, christiane

Sharing is Scary: Part 1 “Shaded Blue”

As some of you probably know and others may not, I’m a dancer.  I’ve been dancing sense age 4 and have built up quite an impressive resume over the years.  I love performing, being on stage, directing, choreographing, etc.  However, I’ve always had a hard time sharing my work while it’s in progress… or really sharing my work any other way but live.  I’ve decided that is something I want to work on- to overcome.  While I think dance, and most live performing arts are better live I know there is a huge outlet for it via video, online, etc.  I’ve decided, that to overcome this fear and to get my work seen by a few more eyes, I will work on releasing various performances, pieces, and clips of work here on the blog!

 I’m starting with a piece I did a few years ago that is truly one of my favorites and one that I would love to put on the stage again.  “Shaded Blue” was choreographed in 2012 at Agnes Scott College in Decatur, GA as an assignment for my Choreo. 2 class.  The semester before in Choreo. 1, I set a piece about my father and our struggle with his cancer and the aftermath of losing him.  That work, “Holding On/ Chasing Dreams” was an emotionally charged piece that above anything else was a way for me to express what I had been through.  After working on a piece so deep and personal, I wanted to create a piece that was just movement for the heck of it!  Phrases that felt really good in the dancers bodies and didn’t tell a deeper story.  Something that moved and was happy and beautiful, creative and flowing.  I actually wrote out all the choreography on an airplane.  I could just see the piece in my head, I didn’t need to feel it in my body, I already knew what was coming next.  This quartet is set to an original piece of music by Kyle Lacy, titled “Iceberg Shade of Blue”.  In a way, we collaborated on creating the perfect track for the final performance, editing sound levels, length, vocals, etc. It was exciting to create a new dance to a new piece of music, I was able to pull inspiration from the raw music and share the work of another artist.  The performers are all friends and fellow dance majors from Agnes.  Setting this work on them was fun and in many ways, easy, because we could all communicate and just play in the early stages of choreography to create some movement that was personal and individualized for each dancer.

And now I have to share!!   Click here, here, or HERE to see the Promo short for “Shaded Blue”.  This is a 1 minute clip that should spark your interest and make you want to see the whole dance…  Then you can click This, that, or the other for the full length video!!!   I hope you enjoy 🙂   (yes- everything in orange is a hyperlilnk to my youtube channel and the indicated performance video.  You have plenty of options on where to click…. and hopefully you will watch more then once!)

I was constantly inspired and loved working on this piece of choreography.  But I know it does not stand alone.  I have begun work on a new solo which is a sister piece to “Shaded Blue” and may be one of three in total!  Exciting things are happening and I plan to keep sharing, so keep an eye out for more “Sharing is Scary” entries that will contain snippets of new work and progress as well as (hopefully) thoughts and insight on my process.  

Please do continue to read, share, follow, like, and comment!

love always,  Christiane

And if you read this far, you get a bonus- here is a special release 15 second clip of the new solo http://instagram.com/p/sEIFF2m4EL/

Enjoy and know there is more to come!

The EX-Factor

Sometimes, as much as we love to hate them, or hate to love them, or love that they hate us, or hate that they hate us, or love that they hate us (I could go on) we have to eventually admit that our Ex(s), as in someone you were in a significant relationship with and are no longer with, influence our lives and our feelings.

Do you ever find it strange how many feelings and memories can be evoked by a location, a song, a smell, a color, a food, or even a way of life? Sometimes bringing back fond memories of a different time, sometimes reminding of heartbreak, confusion, and even self doubt.

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Now that I’m back in NYC (and I’m sorry, but isn’t that the MOST AMAZING pic. of Midtown NYC– as I flew over Manhattan from STL!!! click to enlarge it!) I’m finding this may be something I struggle with. For example, a year ago today… or maybe it was yesterday, I reconnected with someone who I truly thought I would spend the rest of my life with, in Bryant Park. We talked, laughed and started to lay the ground work for a future. Fast forward to right now, and my life track looks like it’s just me… but I still have a hard time visiting Bryant Park. Just being there reminds me of that night that changed everything. So what do I do? -Go there everyday and wallow in my regret and sadness, wishing I could go back and change things so I’d still be happy? -Never set foot in that park again and avoid it at all costs, in so doing, miss out on all the events hosted there year round? No, that all sounds like it’s going a little over board and bordering on crazy. Instead, when I find myself chilling in Bryant Park, I acknowledge the memories and the feelings, but I let them go… and I enjoy my time.

I have a dear friend who very recently went through something very similar to my recent events. She retreated home in order to get ahold of her feelings and make a plan to take her life in a new direction. The other day she was headed to a wedding with family. Once at the venue, it hit her that she and her significant other had been there just weeks earlier and had enjoyed a wonderful evening. Now being back and alone, all those emotions hit her… hit her hard. Tears began as she tried to make her way into the reception room and join her family, but the memories won out- she turned and high tailed it out of there.

Can you blame her? I know those feelings all to well. All we can do is hope that time will make it easier to cope and that eventually these places will hold new and better memories for us.

However, not all Factors are something as easy as a location. This is where my current struggle kicks in. My now-Ex and I had begun a very strict vegetarian diet and lifestyle together… and now that I’m on my own I’m having trouble deciding if I should (or want to) remain vegetarian or, if in attempting to “purge” myself of all reminders of him (ya right, not!), I should let it go and eat whatever I want.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

I have found I naturally tend to lean towards a vegetarian diet regardless (I really don’t like to handle raw meat, so I don’t cook it often) and I have come to truly LOVE many of the vegetarian meals I have been introduced too. Am I holding onto something by continue with this lifestyle choice? I know that I do feel better when I eat less heavy meats and I’m enjoying trying new foods that otherwise I may never try. But it does remind me of him… and as we have to eat somewhat consistently… it’s almost a consistent reminder. Eventually I know it won’t be, but for the present moment… sigh.

This whole experience and how I’ve managed to (somewhat) overcome it and continue to live, has been a true eye opener. You may never realize how closely tied your life is with someone else until they are no longer a part of it, for better or worse. Then it’s a healing and growing process… which, as much as we wish it would just happen over night… actually takes a lot of time (whether we admit it to ourselves and others or not).  Sometimes it seems like the easiest answer is to delete all reminders of that other person (I don’t do this but I know someone who does) and pretend like it’s not something that keeps us up at night, or surfaces after a few to many drinks, or seems like it would be a comfort when things are hard and no one is there for you.  (more on this concept in a post coming soon).

So, what’s your Ex-Factor? What things stir up memories that you struggle with? 

Feel free to Share, Comment, Like, Follow, ETC!

There are some great posts on the way, including some travel stories with great pictures, the importance of balance and how I find that, and my newest post work-out treat! So I know you will want to stay tuned 😉

Love always, Christiane

TGI…F! almost to perfect

Hot water- Check
Lavender epsom salt- Check
Bubbles- Check
Easy reading book- check
Relaxed…

almost check.

Yes- after an early morning, a few hours at work, and a long walk up 3rd Ave, I finally made my way home to a quiet apartment and had prepared myself a wonderful bath. I wanted nothing more then to sit in peace and relative quiet letting the hot water work it’s magic and relax my tired feet and sore back while reading the last few chapters of “The Devil Wears Prada” (yes, I reference it all the time… ok ok, no comment).

No sooner had I finally felt just a tiny bit of calmness soak into my body then someone starts banging… pounding really… on the apartment door. Ringing the door bell and POUNDING! As I tried to tune it out, telling myself it must be a delivery or someone selling something (because believe me, nothing was gonna pry me out of that hot water and bubbles), my phone began ringing– the building super. I answer but of course can’t understand a word he is trying to say… so I fly out of the tub and throw on something decent. He’s outside the door, looking upset…

Apparently our tub can’t handle baths and had flooded into the apartment below us. To the minute I have no idea how that managed to happen, as it has no cracks and the water wasn’t overflowing onto the floor or was barely close to full (granted the bubbles made it look much more full… but not the water)!! I was quickly deprived of my relaxing quiet time and thrown back into reality… where I seem to have an endless “To Do” list and tight neck.
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I realize however, that if the biggest complaint of my day is that my bath was cut short, I don’t have it all that bad.

Had a productive meeting with my boss at work– that is the planned starting point for my post tomorrow– and enjoyed NOT having plans all afternoon so I could take a long leisurely walk up 3rd Ave. from 16th to 65th (and called that my workout for the day) in search of some jewelry at Pier 1.

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I realized today though, how much I want… no, NEED the upcoming 2 week trip to souther Illinois and our family summer cottage on the Mississippi River. The things you learn to live with- the noise for one… like how I spent easily 30 minutes heading an endless beeping noise but not bothering to investigate it cause I thought it was outside when it was just my roommates alarm–, or without for that matter- like a car or time outside… walking everywhere because the subway is SO hot and you are inside at work most of the time so a little sunshine is needed-, can end up driving you crazy but this city is so non-stop you hardly realize… sometimes only when it’s to late.

Some of that I’m sure I will touch on later… there are obviously things I’m beating around the bush writing… partly because it’s hard, partly because I know that a wrong word or phrase or description of the situation could cast a very bad light on people I do care about and that’s not what I have any intention of doing… so saying no more until I can say it right.

And I guess that’s a wrap on this post! I think I’m going to enjoy what is left of my quiet Friday night with desert and a movie. Go to bed early and be up for work bright and early tomorrow.

Thank you all for following, liking, commenting, and sharing… but most of all thank you for reading this blog. I love writing and while I know it’s more like a journal at time, I hope to get it some structure and theme and just continue to share with you all my life adventures in NYC… cause that’s were it all started if I remember correctly!!

Love always, Christiane

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