I’d Read Your Blog If…

You went to France!!

That’s what my boss said to me a few weeks ago in regards to reading blogs in general.
And of course it got me thinking- What do people read about? What is found interesting or intriguing? Of my personal posts, I’ve discovered that posts regarding my relationship struggles or specific New York City experiences get the most attention. Of course these are posts that I sometimes feel are beating a subject into the ground or just fussing… whereas posts about my dance or running go by seemingly unnoticed, and of course those I thought would be interesting and unique.

Which led me to wonder what kind of blogs, if any, people spend time reading?! I’ll be honest, I seldom read a blog consistently. That’s not to say I haven’t… just not often. Usually the blogs I read are those of my friends when they are traveling or embarking on some new adventure that I want to keep tabs on. I have been better at reading posts from the various blogs I’m following… but really should do more it I want to be an active member of the blogging community.

Which leads me to the point of this post– what do you all (my followers and readers) enjoy hearing about? What do you enjoy reading?

When I set out on this blog extravaganza it was because I was setting out on my New York adventure and I wanted to stay in touch with everyone. Of course that fell off the grid but I’m pretty serious about keeping this up now, so tell me what you might like to hear about!!

And please continue to share, follow, comment, like, or just read!

lovealways, christiane

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Time. All it takes is time.

That’s a line from a song that has been floating in and out of my thoughts for weeks now, but I can’t place it or find it anywhere!  I can hear the melody and everything, but can’t recall any other lyrics, much less where it’s from.
Don’t you hate it when that happens?!  

Anyway, regardless– the concept, that anything takes time– is what truly resonates with me.
Time to grow
Time to heal
Time to learn
Time to practice
Time to adventure
Time to gain perspective
Time to understand
Time.

Time is something I’ve struggled with in various ways over the years.
Wishing I had more time
Remembering back to a different time
Not knowing what to do with my time
Having to much to do and not enough time
Wanting to go back in time

The list could go on.

But it’s not ok to live like that, I’ve discovered. Always living in a different time. Because then you are never living in the NOW, you will miss all the experiences and people that are coming and going around you because you are to busy stuck in a past time.
I’m not saying this is always easy, but when you can it opens you up to a lot of fun things.

This isn’t intended to be a long story based post, just a short muse on a topic… and to out these song lyrics out there into the universe, that maybe someone will recognize them and help me fill in what I’m missing, or just what the song it!

Anybody  know??  Or have personal reflections on the concept of time?  How it’s affected you?

Comment, share, like, tweet, reblog, etc!

Time is always been something I’ve struggled and played with- so much so that it, and a book titled, “Einstein’s Dream”, sparked a dance piece that I did the summer before my 1st year of college.  I don’t share this one much, and no comments on my movement technique at the time, but I think we all wish we could freeze some moments.  (And yes, back to the days of being super blond!)

 

I hope you all enjoy,

 

lovealways,  christiane

 

“it is’t yes, it’s not quite no”

This City is No Fairy Tale

New York City is a place that thousands flock to throughout the year.  It is a melting pot city, the home of all things Broadway, hosts one of the largest most prestigious marathons in the country, has history and memories on every street, and a beautifully lit iconic skyline at night.  But it’s still a city.  And no growing functioning city is beautiful, perfect, and some dream come true… Not once you get up close and personal with it- like in bed together up close and personal- that’s for sure.

Let’s preface this post with a big old heartfelt “I’m sorry”!  Cause I am sorry if what I’m writing bursts anyone’s bubble, but it will come out sooner or later.  I’m not sayin’ you should visit if it’s something you want to do… or that you shouldn’t move here if it’s the place you are supposed to be.  All I’m saying here, is don’t come with pre-conceived fairy tale ideas of the city, cause you will most likely be disappointed.

What exactly am I talking about?  A lot of the day to day things.  The little things that only exist in this way in New York– that give this city a uniqueness, but that also get down right annoying at times.

Some examples?  Sure why not…

The homeless taking up, stinking up, and yelling through the train cars.

Doggy doo along the sidewalks waiting for your unsuspecting shoe.

A great and diverse array of smells around every corner.  Some you with you could enjoy always or get a bite of whatever it is that has gotten your attention, others that you wish to NEVER smell again.

Trash… basically everywhere.  Along the sidewalks, often escaped from it’s bag.  Blowing in the wind.

Train delays.  You did everything right- got up on time, had everything ready, left your apartment with time to spare walking to the station, got on the train– so far so good, right?!  You are moving right along from station to station until you feel the breaks bring the train to a screeching halt and your conductor come over saying there is “train traffic ahead of you”.  And would you like to know why there is train traffic ahead?  Most likely cause some dumb-ass won’t “stand clear of the closing doors” so they have to ding ding-ding ding several times before they finally close.  And if someone has pulled the emergency break, or the track signals are malfunctioning, or goodness forbid someone has decided to jump on the tracks.  Well, you can kiss being to work on time goodbye.  (this is one I deal with on an almost daily basis… so it hits close to home).

Waiting in ridiculously long lines for just about everything you do- from going to a show (ok, there should be a legit line here), to grocery shopping… where most times I stand in a line longer then it took me to get the items I’m trying to buy!

Paying way to much for everything… like just the cost of living, and I’m not talking fun expenses.

You never really see this side of the city when you are getting VIP transportation in your tour bus, seeing everything from atop the Empire State Building, and only hitting up the manicured parts of town when you are on your feet on the street.  Getting into the city, down and dirty with it… way uptown, on side streets, during all hours of the day and night.  Thats when the real life side shows itself.

Of course, if I didn’t love some of that… or find that the beauty and opportunities far outweigh the frustrations  I wouldn’t still be here.  Maybe it’s not that bad.

Share, comment, like, follow, visit, etc!

lovealways,  christiane

Yoga is Now: 46 Days of Green Shirts

46 days, 32 shifts, 5 days a week, 2 shirts, 1.5 months. and Yoga is (still) NOW!

What in the world is she talking about? Is what I’m sure you’re asking yourself. Well, I’m talking about my job and the uniform I’ve donned (as well as all of my lovely co-workers) for the past month and a half. To an extent, this has been funny and a sort of bonding experience for all of us… It’s also been an eye opener for me at a personal level.

Shall we begin there? Sure, why not. Basically- I’ve had a work uniform for the past 46 days. The last time I had a uniform was years ago when I was still in private school. Back before I knew any different, didn’t have my own style preferences, and was grateful to know what I was going to put on every morning and not worry about it. I used to love having a strict uniform and at one point said I’d always prefer it to having to buy and put together outfits myself.  But that was a long time ago.  Put me in a strict uniform now and I’m itching to get out of it. I hadn’t realized how much I’d come to dislike the idea of an enforced uniform and found myself, over the past 32 shifts, coming up with ways to manipulate, change, and push the boundaries of my allowed clothing.   Not only was it not seasonally appropriate (short sleeves in New York in November? I mean come on, it’s cold here!), it was completely unflattering in cut and color.  With my newly dyed red hair, I felt like an elf or a leprechaun, again neither of which fit the season.  I’ve also realized that I’ve found a color pallet and style of clothing that fits and flatters me today, something I used to not pay much attention to or care much about for that matter.

As a team, these shirts have been our mutual topic of conversation and frustration for the past 6 weeks.  Finding a reason to put a sweater on over it, which hasn’t been hard as it’s gotten colder.  Coaxing each other into them at the start of shift and being relieved when you were off the clock and out of the shirt.  Sneaking them into the washer with the towels and hoping you put your initials on the collar!  Questioning what bottoms you can wear with it and not look even more ridiculous.  And of course, laughing along when members as they read out to you “Yoga is Now” and start to chuckle cause all three staff members at the desk are sporting the same green t-shirt with white lettering and explaining why we are all dressed the same every day.  I have to admit, I’m sure we all looked a bit ridiculous and continuously reassuring people that we do in fact wash them got tedious.

 

I’m sure you are wondering what this not famous shirt actually looked like!?  Well, say no more.

IMG_1844

pretty bad right?  Well, yesterday was the last day and I’m happy to report we all made it to the end and my 2 shirts made it to the trash bin.  Not into the trash in a malicious way, but in an honest way– I’ll never wear it for fun and honestly, they were past washing.  So why add clutter? lol!

Have you had… do you have a uniform you can, in fact, get enough of?  Share!

As always like, comment, follow, share, etc!

lovealways,  Christiane

Delete. Dye. Decision.

Never in my wildest, well maybe not my wildest, but never did I think I’d be pampering myself at a hair salon on 5th Ave. or that I’d have 2 self designed tattoos on my body, or that I could have been removed from someone’s life (and removed them from mine) like an outdated document, or that I’d find myself surviving alone and actually being ok… being more then ok at times.

This post has been turning over and over in my head for about a month, but I wasn’t at a place where I could put the thoughts into words for it’s content. I believe, more or less, that I am at the place now… or at least closer to it.

DELETE

A little while back, I was having a pretty rough patch, on a personal level.  It felt like everywhere I went something rememinded me of a different time, a different place, and all that has changed over the past few months.  I was sad and angry and frustrated and couldn’t really put my finger on “why”… which made me more upset about it all.  I admit I’m not good at letting things go and moving on… especially if it’s not my decision to do so.
And that, I realized was part of what was making me upset:  How easily some people can remove another from their lives entirely.  Seemingly as easy as hitting the “Delete” key on your computer, dragging an icon to the “trash bin”, clicking “un-friend”, “unfollow”, and “remove”.

Of course this opened my eyes (and I hope you all noticed) to the fact that each of those descriptions refers to the way of removing unwated files or accounts from your computer or social media arenas. But I am not a digital file to be discarded or “replaced” by the newest changes. When I’m treated like that, I feel pretty awful and a huge part of my wants to fight back. Nor am I a computer or something that has no real memory… “I wish that I could wake up with amnesia” is a very true statement. Cause that may be the only was I can DELETE events of my past from my present life.

This whole thought process also led me to realize how much our lives are entwined with our social media outlets. The fact that being “unfriended” from someones Facebook account, at one point threw me into a crying fit, as though that were really really the worst the worst thing that had happened to me, was kind of ridiculous. Half the people I’m “friends” with on Facebook or “Follow” on Instagram I don’t even know! now that’s pretty ridiculous. But in my opinion, not as ridiculous as thinking that my removing all images, appearances, and reminders of someone will ever remove them from your memory or a part of your life.

DYE

No, not die… like “drop dead”, but dye as in a colored dye, an ink, dying something. (This is particularly relevant to me today).
As you all should know, I have 2 tattoos. One on my right ankle, that’s 4 years old this month. And one on my left forearm that’s 5 month old today, to be exact. Each time I get a tattoo, I have gotten a different reaction. When I got my first tat, some people got flat out mad, others got concerned that I was becoming some strange tattooed rebel. Getting my second tat, because of the timing I think, make people saw it as a “F**k (insert my ex’s name here)” tattoo. Which was certainly not the case… or was it?

Starting a few months ago, I began dying my hair… and I’m not talking a few highlights to embellish my blond… I’m talking full on color change. I went RED. And I love it! It gives me a whole different look and almost a different personality at times.

This seems to be my way of dealing… maybe I don’t go through like a tornado and remove every track of you, but I’ll change myself. Becoming another side of me that hasn’t come to the surface in a long time, if ever. I’m tempted to say I’m obsessed with both. For someone who never thought they’d get a tattoo, and after my first had no desire for another, I have ideas for several more. Will I get them? Maybe. Anytime soon? Probably not… but I’ll think about it as I’m laying in bed or folding towels at work. As for the hair- that’s sticking around for a while. This is the second time I’ve done it in this color pallet. Sure, it’s expensive and then I have to keep it nice, but if I’m not with anyone, who am I going to pamper if not myself?

DECISION

This was not the word I originally had in my list. If came about tonight, while I was writing and I think it’s better then “Dilemma” that I had at first.
I feel like I’m faced with a decision to make, not so much facing a dilemma.

A few weeks ago I was a mess. I was exhausted all the time. I was sour and easily irritated. I didn’t mean to be and I was not able to pin point one thing that had triggered these feelings. And it was getting bad- things at work were starting to slip, I wasn’t eating right, and relationships were being pushed. I knew I didn’t want to feel as I did, but I felt like because I didn’t know why, I really couldn’t do anything about it. Just give it some time and hope thing changed, for the better.
It wasn’t until earlier this week that it was brought to my attention that I seemed happier, more energetic, and looked a lot better. This hit me, and I realized I wasn’t forcing anything. I actually felt… feel… good! I feel happy and am enjoying what I’m doing. I’m taking time for myself and not feeling guilty about it. I’m enjoying the time I have with friends and co-workers instead of dwelling to much on the past and the people I miss. Sure, maybe I still beat myself up a little for hurting someone and not being able to change my ways soon enough. But I hope I’m making decisions that will make me happy and in that, show that I’m not a horrible person.

Is it a decision to be happy? Yes. I believe it is, same as it’s a decision to change ones hair color, or have our skin injected with ink, or to go through months of photographs removing only certain ones. Maybe not always a conscious decisions like some of the other examples, but a decision none the less. As I’ve come to find, the decisions that lead to making one person happy will not always make others feel the same way. We do so many things as a way of self preservation.

What do I want you to “get” fro this post, I honestly don’t even know. I wrote it as a place to put these thoughts that have come together in my mind. Perhaps, if you’ve been in a similar situation, you can relate. Let me know.

Like, share, comment, the usual.

lovealways, Christiane

Off the Grid

I’ve totally fallen off said grid. And I was doing so well at writing and reflecting and all that good stuff!
But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing anything fun and exciting. It’s actually that I’ve been very busy and have new stories to share… Now I just need to find the time. Or maybe the time is there, I’m just not making the most of it?
I’ve noticed that some days, when I think about what I got done in those past 24 hours it’s not much and 90% of the time consists only of work and spending time on the train getting between jobs and home. Then days when I don’t have to go to work I hardly want to leave my apartment…. Bed… Basically I sleep all day. I’ve realized I’m really not making the most of my time and all of our time is limited, so why am I not rallying and doing something? Cause when I do I feel great. Ok maybe I wish I got more sleep, but that’s not the only thing I have to have time for.
Every month I make a list of personal goals and I give myself a prize at the end. This month, even though this is my first post this month, one of my goals is to write more. And I don’t mean write about how much I miss certain things, people, love, life styles… No I mean write about what I’ve been up to, what discoveries I’m making, and what adventures I’m on.
Kinda bringing this blog back to the whole reason I started it.
I’m living in New York City and I should have more to say then, “I’m lonely, tired, and broke.”

So hold me to it! And keep your eyes peeled for more fun posts in the near future!

lovealways,
Christiane